He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
