Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
