i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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