He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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