Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize