2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
