the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I would ride that face into the sunset
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
