I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
