i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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