I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
