i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
bring money and cleavage
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
