eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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