I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
