So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
