we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Two words: nipple clamps
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