My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Boobs speak an international language.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
