Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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