Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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