Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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