and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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