I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
