I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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