He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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