You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
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