Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
