Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
