"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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