Grow some girl-balls and come out already
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
