You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
