he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
