I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize