Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
