Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
