i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize