I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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