Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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