I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
