I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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