Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
