i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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