im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
