A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He has the fingertips of a God
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