If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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