Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
