We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Your cock deserves a montage
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
