Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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