So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
