my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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