one two three fourrrrnication!
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
