Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
