ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
this will be a night to untag.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize