you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
