I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
