I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
