I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
