were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
