did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
