so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
birth control should be required to get into college
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
