well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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