he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
