Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
