her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
