Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
