I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
