Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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