i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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