you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
