mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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