Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
