It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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