I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
