shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize