She is in my trunk
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It all started with a game of naked twister.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize