if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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