i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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