Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
