He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I need to calm my uterus...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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