I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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