i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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