the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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